We all have some type of fear holding us back.
I guess most fears can be lumped into the general category of "fear of the unknown" as any fear really is not knowing what will happen to us next and being afraid that what will happen next will be something bad. Or maybe we are even afraid of something good happening to us and not being able to handle it.
A good example of this type of fear has to do with wealth. Suppose someone is growing a business and things seem to be taking off. They seem to be on track to achieve their goals and are feeling great. All of a sudden, deals fail to go through, people cancel appointments at the last minute, clients call for refunds and partners leave. How could this happen? They were so close! ...(sigh) they knew it was too soon.
Well, one way to look at it is to say that these things just happen and it's just part of the game. That's true, stories like this are common.
However, another way to see it is to notice the psychology inside this person. They had a fear, conscious or not, of succeeding quickly and the fear prevented them from going all the way, right now.
Here's a useful analogy to illustrate this point. Think of a thermostat controlling indoor heating. Let's say the thermostat is on the wall and set at 25. If the temperature of the room drops below 25 the furnace will kick in and heat the room until it's back at 25. If the room rises to 30 the AC will cool the room back down to 25 to keep it at the setpoint.
This is a great system, when the setpoint is on the right number.
We have the same type of setpoint in ourselves for wealth. If your setpoint is at $25,000 then that's all your capable of making. Any increase or decrease from this point will cause you to either make more or lose more until you are back at the set point. We see this all the time with lottery winners. They win millions. A few years later... back where they started (or close) and sometimes even worse. Why? Because they did not have the knowlege and systems in place to handle the fortune. If you are ready for it, there is no fear. If you are not, you'll lose whatever you gain because of the fear (unless you can grow through it fast enough).
So how do you make yourself ready? To change your set point from $25,000 to $50,000, or $100,000 or more, you must first address the underlying fear. Clear the fear and then re-set yourself at the highest level you can manage. No matter what the fear. It could be about dying, or public speaking, or spiders.
Now, how do you go about it?
You let it go.Right. Ummm.... OK? What does that mean?
It's just like dropping a pen you were holding tightly in your hand. What most people don't understand is that a fear is just a feeling. Like joy, sadness, enthusiasm, anger... and feelings are just sensations that pass through our bodies. The trick is to
allow them to pass.
Take anger for example.
Why do we hear things like "count to 10 before you say anything" or "go blow off some steam before you talk to that person" ? Because we know that with a little bit of time and some spent energy, that person's anger will dissipate and lessen. It may even pass completely, therefore avoiding the temptation to explode in the moment and say or do something regretable.
The same happens with joy. We have all noticed how getting a gift seems to make us happy... for a while. Then the feeling passes and we look for something else to make us happy... for a while.
Unless we can let go of those feelings as the come up, without trying to hold on to them, so that they may pass through us unrestricted. It's only when we try to hold on to a feeling, like joy or anger, that they start to erode our nervous system with the friction of trying to hold on to them. By letting them go, you open the door for new and better things to come into your life. Once again, just like trying to hold back the water in a stream... it's best to always let it flow.
So, makes sense?
I'll give you two practical suggestions that I use all the time.
1.
The Sedona MethodThe Sedona Method was developed in the 1970's by a man called Lester Levenson. At 42, the physicist and entrepreneur had achieved all the trappings of worldly success but was terribly unhappy. He was also incredibly sick with various health conditions and after a second coronary, the doctors sent him home to die. Instead of giving up however, he searched deep inside himself for answers, and started experimenting with simple self-therapy. After 3 months, he was completely healthy and lived in a state of profound peace for another 40 + years. The Sedona Method was then passed to Hale Dwoskin (current CEO and director of training) and you can learn about it in books, CD's, DVD's and seminar courses (www.sedona.com).
For now, I'll give you the basics (you'll want to get the book or programs to really unleash the full power of this method).
At it's core, The Sedona Method is all about 3 simple questions, and learning to notice the feelings in your body so you can let them go.
The questions are:
Could I let it go?
Would I let it go?
When?
Easy right? Well, maybe. It
is simple, but allowing yourself to let go of feelings you have been holding for a long time, often without realising it, can sometimes be a challenge. Once you DO let go, you free up reserves of energy and power you didn't even know you had.
It gets easier the more you practice. It's also easier once you understand that "could you?" means "is it possible?", "would you?" means "would you if you could?" and "when?" is simply an invitation to let go of the feeling right NOW. Since feelings pass through us instead of being attached to us, with a little bit of practice we can drop feelings like we drop a pen from our grip.
How does it work?
Think of something, anything, which makes you feel a certain way. It could be a situation that has you feeling afraid. Now ask yourself "could I let this go?" and answer yes or no. Even if you answer no, move on. Next, as you are still feeling the feeling, ask yourself "would I let this go?" again, answer yes or no. Then, ask yourself "when?" and invite yourself to answer NOW. After that, notice how you feel. Did anything shift or change? Maybe, maybe not, but go through it a few more times and you'll probably feel something happen.
You can do this with a partner, or alone, and continue doing it until the feeling of fear is gone (or at least much reduced). When that feeling of fear is gone, what's left?
Feeling good.
What happens when you feel good? Good things happen. In relationships, in business, in health, in life. And the better you become at releasing, the more powerful you will feel, because there is nothing holding you back any longer. Master this and there will be nothing to release, only a continuous flow of power and beauty in your life.
We don't know where the path will lead us, or what will show up around the next bend, but if we continue to let go of our fear of the unknown, and trust that all will be well... miraculous things can happen.
CHB
Next week I'll briefly explain another powerful method to clear anything that might be holding you back.
Copyright © Charles Begin
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